Monday, February 19, 2024

What Puppetry Can Teach Us About Holding Magical Spaces

 



One of the core foundations of a connected & purposeful community are their "rituals". They create predictability, bonding and reverence to shared values. For our family, one of our most looked forward to ritual is attending the annual Ishara Puppet Theatre Festival! We have been watching this since the past 11 eleven years (minus Covid years) It is a pure sensory delight and ignites all those latent childhood urges we have been suppressing since we grew up. 

As I sat watching the show last night managed all by one single person on stage - I could not help but wonder what can puppetry teach us about holding spaces. Of course one can learn so much from the stories (the content) themselves - but we can learn so much more from the process and behaviours of the puppeteers!  

Orientation helps build ease 
First Ishara's founder comes on stage and introduces the festival, how it started, a bit about its journey, what their values are in organising these festivals and what the audience can expect today! Many of us in the audience are repeat attendees - but still these few minutes - with Dadi's warm and inviting presence helps us arrive in the space. It helps us connect with Ishara and their "way" of being and doing. 

Values in Action 
They always start and end on time - even as the audience was pouring in. The Ambassadors/ Guests sit among the audience only - no special seating! They have operated the festival over the years without any corporate sponsorship - this means that we get to the announcement very last minute (living values also have costs that we'd rather bear that not live the value!) - but Ishara can do what it wants to do in its purest of form.  

Co-create the experience with the audience 
Many times we feel the pressure to be the star of the show and that we are alone responsible for the experience! But puppeteers are masterful at involving the audience in co-creating the experience. Yesterday, the puppeteer set up the whole stage along with the audience. He taught lines of the chorus of the main song to everyone. He set up the audience to be able to engage through the show. So whenever he would start humming the tune, the audience would start singing. At the end, all the kids and adults were humming the tune and singing the words... "Imagine......"

Create the element of surprise 
The puppeteer day before in a chasing scene was sprinkling water at one of the characters and of course that water would splash at the audience too - leading to sounds of AHsss and OHsss.... at the end it seemed as if the whole bucket will be hurled at us and what came out was confectionary instead! Oh the feeling that created - of relief yet wonder and surprise. Almost all puppeteers never show the puppets in full right away - there is an element of slowness and almost anxious waiting - to really build up the curiosity of what is about to come!  

Work with what happens - improvise 
With any live performances, there are always goof ups! This time it was pigeons pooping right on the stage (and only on the stage!) all through the show. How did they handle it - Dadi called it out right upfront with a laugh and just prepared everyone for it:) 

The puppeteers ask the audiences questions (last night it was jokes) - the risk here are so many - many people wanting to speak, not understanding what people are saying in terms of accent, or the person answering not understanding what they are supposed to say...The puppeteer heard 3-4 jokes and chose one to keep referring to through the performance:) It was so delightful to hear one's own joke being referred to! 

Help people feel supported to engage 
Related to the risk mentioned above, when puppeteers ask for volunteers from the audience - it can be tough to manage both for the puppeteer and for the volunteers. You have limited time and need people to understand your instructions and do what is needed. The volunteers feel the adrenaline rush but are also scared/ anxious if they will understand what is needed and if they would do it well enough without being blinded by the light and overwhelmed with the sounds. 

The puppeteer yesterday was so so masterful at acknowledging every little action of the volunteers - "hey by the way you are great at taking directions..." or "hey, you got the lyrics of the song so quickly...." or "your height of holding the cloth is just right..." - small small appreciations that helps the volunteers feel confident and acknowledged and ready to do more. 

Close well
Once the show is over and the audience is still in rapt wonder, Dadi comes on stage, acknowledges all the puppeteers and their support teams. He invites the Chief Guest to come and gift (in cloth bags which I love) the puppeteers. This little ritual helps everyone to "transfer out" of the experience through appreciation, acknowledgement and gratitude. And they always talk about what is coming next!  

I am sure as I attend more shows (we have 4 more lined up this week), new learnings will come to light:) 

If you are in Delhi and want magic in your evenings, check out Ishara

Thursday, January 11, 2024

"What makes you comfortable at...... "

I was seated at one of the lunches at a facilitator exchange workshop recently. I looked around the table and was wondering what interesting question I could ask that could give me a glimpse into people's authentic selves! And then popped the question... what makes you comfortable ... We were just talking about travelling so I customised the question as "what makes you comfortable at a new place you travel to....? 

This opened the door to amazing and diverse sharing - knowing where to go, having wifi access immediately, a smile, meeting friendly people, a comfortable space to stay, being familiar with the surroundings...each and every person on that table brought a new perspective to the table that was so uniquely them. 

I just started imagining what awareness and connection can happen if we ask questions starting with these simple words...

* what makes you comfortable at a party?

* what makes you comfortable at an internal meeting?

* what makes you comfortable at an external conference/ training/ workshop? 

* what makes you comfortable at a dinner with friends?

* what makes you comfortable at a family group call?

* what makes you comfortable at an interview?

* what makes you comfortable at a performance conversation? 

Even with people we think we know, we often are unaware of these preferences - simple ways we can help people come into a state of ease. Just being curious about these can create the bridge we need to a meaningful and beautiful conversation. 

So go ahead try using these conversation starters at your next meet up! 

Friday, April 21, 2023

Why Trainings Don't Work?

 


This was the result of my recent Linkedin poll. Majority responded that trainings do not lead to real life impact because of no follow up mechanism followed by more content less practice and incorrect need assessment. Some of explanations were very insightful:
  • Often people who ask for the workshops to be conducted have a completely different idea from those who are participating of what is required.
  • a rooted belief that workshops are different from real life.
  • more theoretical workshops v/s practical ones
  • because very often the intention and purpose of the trainings are limited to the training itself - like an end in itself. Participants invest themselves in any training, to the best of their abilities, interests, etc...and yet, I feel, with very few people either reporting back on some key aspects of the training, or taking up some follow up work/processes- over a period of time, the curiosity and/or relevance of trainings as potential to be applied in real life is reduced. 
  • most trainings are designed to tap into the "mind" and "body" quadrants of the MWT- that is only the mental capacities and action-packed/oriented - they miss out on other important/humane aspects like co-created/shared vision, and bringing in a sense of community, belonging, ownership etc (connecting to the vision and community of the MWT [Medicine Wheel Tool]-).
  • Inappropriate need assessment and lack of opportunity to apply the learnt skills contributes to it.
In a way the answers seem quite obvious, yet we keep designing trainings as "bubbles" that have nothing or little to do with participants existing lives and their past, present or future. 

So here are some thoughts for you to consider if you are a sponsor who would like a group to learn new skills or a facilitator who is designing the trainings:

Take the time really understand the needs - if the desired behaviours are not seen consistently, why could that be happening? 

Is that people know what to do but do not have the will to do it or feel they cannot do it or do not have the permission or space to practice those behaviours? The resolution for this is to better understand the barriers for practice/ living behaviours which could be multiple - perception of no time, fear of response from peers/ superiors/ team members....? Sometimes training or more training may not be the solution at all and what is needed is an open dialogue and problem solving approach from everyone involved. HR is a great position to bring this to notice of all concerned and support a process to collectively find the solutions. 

Is it that people actually do not what to do? This would indicate a real learning gap.

Once the decision to impart new skills is taken collectively with buy in from those who need it, the next step is to see how to make the whole process integrated into trainees actual work lives. 

Think of readiness - have trainees reflect on their current experiences around that skill area and identify what works and what doesn't.

Involve their superiors in the process somehow. A great facilitator I know has trainees sign an agreement with their boss about a specific follow up plan or a upcoming opportunity to apply learnings soon after the workshop.

In the training itself, engage the whole person - their body, mind, spirit and emotions. While their mind may understand and body is doing the work, their heart and soul need some more time to fully embrace the learning - see its relevance for their own lives - and generate that will to act. 

In the training itself have people do the work on their work related challenges. The more they do the work in the training, the easier it is for them to continue doing so post the workshop.

Help them think about how will they communicate with their teams about their new skills/ behaviours. Team members often get shocked by their bosses new behaviours and this is like rubbing salt on a wound - trainees muster up courage to try new skills only to meet either skepticism, surprise or downright scorn of their teams who cannot understand what happened to their boss or believe that these are short term effects anyways. 

Learning does not stop at the training. Light bulbs keep going off much afterwards. There needs to be follow up sessions/ mentoring circles prescheduled for some months ahead where trainees can come together, talk about their experiences of applying the new kills, celebrate small wins and also brainstorm next level of challenges. The embedding of the new skills will happen only with repeated practice, compassionate feedback and witnessing positive impact on a consistent basis. [a great example of how a group offers life long mentoring circles to anyone who has taken their training module across the years]

There is so much skepticism about the nil or at best short term effects of training programs. Let us not see them as one stop experience but a more integrated learning journey that actually helps make people's lives better! 

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

The Gathering Genie is Out of the Bottle!

Logo credit - Harshit Manocha 

With Gathering Genie, I take a step towards inviting in my life more of my favourite conversations - those about rethinking and reimagining gatherings .



"Manali Shah has been a gathering Genie long before this idea came up! I have reached out to her multiple times with SOS requests before facilitating important meetings and I've always gone away with insightful takeaways and specific tips for my facilitation opportunities .. highly recommend Mana for her vast experience and facilitative approach even when guiding other facilitators. All the best facilitation Genie!" 
Rohit Shenoy, L&D lead at a global corporate organisation.

If you have a meeting, conference, workshop, training, celebration coming up and want to explore ways to make these more engaging and impactful, let's talk! 

Share some details in this form and I will get back to you with some slots for a conversation. 



🍁 If you have a story about a magical gathering (personal, community, or professional) which you have done differently, let's talk!

Write to me at manafacilitator@gmail.com and I would love to set up a 30-40 minute Zoom video call with you to capture your story. I have captured two wonderful stories here already! 

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

My first trek: reflections and gratitude

Photo credit - Digant

I have been browsing India Hikes website and lusting over the snow peak mountains in their trek stories since many months now... Doubts about my own fitness levels, managing in the cold and living with frugal means in the middle of nowhere overtook every time I felt like clicking on the sign up button. But finally in March 2022 I signed up for their most basic The Dayara Bugyal Trek with my son! This was a experiential family trek meaning there would be many more opportunities for my son to really get a feel of trekking and living in the high mountains! 

I had six months to get ready. This needed mental, emotional and of course physical fitness to really be able to enjoy the trek - India Hikes was amazing in helping prepare for all three! For my son I had no worries - he is quite physically fit and mentally much stronger to navigate through this experience - having just recently returned from a 18-day community living trip with his class mates in Karnataka! 

Physical readiness 

Watching their videos and fitness routine suggestions - I had the goal of jogging 5km in 40 minutes. I needed to build my strength as well. Sessions with my physiotherapist had helped a lot with my flexibility but I had no strength! She advised a weekly routine with resistance band, weights and cardio. The goal of the trek was so motivating to keep the consistency - I tried to jog 3 km atleast once or twice a week and aimed for 5 km every Sunday. I was not always regular - but my body was slowly getting used to moving, toning and stretching! What really helped was recording my walks/ jogs/ cycling on the Strava app - it felt so good looking back at it and it helped me time my jogs/ walks. I also practiced carrying a 5kg backpack up and down the stairs. Upping my protein intake also helped build strength - surprisingly veggie options add up so little to the daily need! 

Mental readiness 

What helped me mentally was having as much information about the trek as possible - their website is a wonder trove of resources from stretching routines to how to manage during periods on a trek! Preparing and packing slowly also really helped - making sure we had everything

Emotional readiness 

My will and ache to do this came from speaking with friends who had done this before, talking about my fears and from knowing how I feel when I am surrounded by mountains! IH connected all families through WA and we had an online call. Their responsiveness and empathy for all of our questions was very reassuring. And of course seeing my kiddo so excited about everything from packing to every minute detail about the trek experience! 

The journey

So armed with all this we started our journey from Delhi to Dehradun on Diwali day! We met some of the other families in the evening and the next day enjoyed our last bath and set on for our 8 hour drive to Raithal - their base camp! 

The drive was idyllic - passing a section of the Bhagirathi river for a long time, the white peaks started showing themselves quite early on...motion sickness thankfully evaded us and we reached the base camp hale and hearty. Dawned in our layers we got ready for our briefing with our trek leader - Sanchana! We introduced ourselves and shared why this trek drew us. We understood the plan for each day and we also were requested to be mindful of the waste we generate and help collect any we spot on the way. 

The next day with warm up and our backpacks, we got going! 30 minutes of a steep ascent I was already falling behind. My heart was beating fast and I was beginning to have a feeling of heaviness I used to feel in school assemblies standing for hours under the sun. I just stopped and sat down - Suraj was the last person from IH to ensure all make it. He got worried and so did others. There were few moments of fright and despair - how could I not be ready for this even after all the training I did? will I give up already? will they ask me to come down if I cannot keep up with the group? And then I looked up and saw the snow peaks! My heart stopped and for all the good reasons. Suraj did not give up and neither did I. With my Mom's voice in my head, I told him and myself that I will do it - just slowly. I began again the steady and slow climb. I would walk about 10-15 steps and would pause for a minute. This way I slowly managed to read the first rest stop after 1 km. Oh the joy and sense of accomplishment I felt! I just plopped on the floor and took in the sun. 

The rest of the climb that day was difficult no doubt but I edged on slowly. When my enthusiasm began to fade, the universe send me a sign to nudge on - a 76 year old grandmother walking down, an Aunty telling me that being the last in the mountains is a sign that you are enjoying the journey, the crepe that gave me a burst of energy, the sight of the rays of the sun touching the trees, Simba our camp dog who walked alongside patiently waiting with me...the sounds of laughter of the kids up ahead! At every stop the team waited for me and joined in my joy of making it that far! At 2 pm after 5 hours of climbing I made it to the first campsite - Gui! Yay I made it:) I joined in for the stretching and soaked in the beauty of the campsite! The trek team nudged me on saying the first day was hardest and I could do the rest now! 

The temperature dipped around 4 pm as soon as the sun hid behind the mountains and out came our layers. Warm yummy food, fun games, warm water, cozy tents and the star studded sky made the night comfortable enough to pass:) And of course when I saw the 8 year old with her headlamp comfortably walking to the loo in the dark! 

Given the slow speed of day 1, I was advised to offload my backpack and carry a day pack. With lighter weight I was hopeful of the second day. The path was flatter in some sections through beautiful forests. Since it was a kids trek, there were lovely sensory exercises spread throughout. The snow peaks never left us - constant companions reminding us of the grandeur and beauty in stillness. Through some steep ascents again, we made it to the second campsite at Chilapada! We had reached 10000 feet! Another gorgeous location with the warm sun and majestic views made for a lovely rest. Kids found some recently fallen snow and played their hearts out! 

The evening was already so cold and we could not stop shivering! The only thing to stop feeling cold was to hike again! So Sanchana led us through an adventurous evening sunset walk up the forest with Kawal shouting "come everyone, let us go"....we made it just in time to see the orange laced silhouette of the peaks. The walk back was a bit scary, so we all sang along and talked. That night was the hardest for me...the cold, the constant visits to the loo, cramping in the tummy....I yearned for my husband that night...Ayan was the sweetest - asking me again and again if I was ok in the tent - if I was wearing my liner and sleeping bag ok:) 

The next morning the sun rose at the campsite...oh the joy of first feeling of warmth! After warm up again we started our hike. We had 9 km to cover that day up to the Dayara Top and then back down to Nayata - our last campsite! We left about 7 am and Sanchana this time made me lead the group. Somehow being in that position I nudged on and on for some time without pausing too much. But I did pause, everyone paused with me - this constant encouragement and standing side by side - was the most supported I have ever felt while doing something that challenged me! We reached the meadows soon and wow were they grand...just expanse after expanse...the feeling of vastness. We could see the Dayara Top in the distance and it felt so close. It was hardly anything BUT! Suraj and Digant (fellow parent) stayed with me as I edged on slowly again being the last of the group. We climbed up one peak and then down and then another and another.... Suraj must have been so frustrated with my whining! 

Finally we reached the base of the Dayara Top! I was exhilarated! I shed the extra weight and started my final ascent. I thought of my Mom and Dad and heard their voices of never giving up, that there are no shortcuts to success...my voice quivered and I could feel my eyes well up! I climbed up and slowly I was there. I had reached. I moved past my fears and my feeling of inadequacy and self doubt. I found a quiet spot and the tears just streamed. I felt so overwhelmed. I could sense my dearest Dad in all the grand peaks around me - speaking to me - telling me that "I am proud of you Beta"! We all spend some moments in silence. The wind was loud and strong. We could see the mountains till as far as our eyes could see. It was a beautiful peaceful and soulful moment that I have never felt in my life before. 

Our descent started - we had about 4.5 km to go. The first stretch was through the meadows and it was the most divine path I have walked on (the flatness of it surely added to the beauty of it!) The roti and aloo sabzi at the rest stop were the tastiest meal ever followed by garam chai. The descent continued. It was tough with stones, gravel, dirt...we had to walk sideways to avoid slipping and again I was very slow. A large part of the path was through a stream - I can still smell the freshness in the air! The knees started hurting - our fellow parents Rekha and Sanjay offered me their trekking pole and with 2 poles I was able to walk more easily! I remember walking down and seeing the yellow of the campsite and feeling there it is...but it was NOT! Finally we reached.... Suraj and Digant were chatting and that helped me keep my focus. This campsite was the prettiest of them all:) And who else made it even more beautiful than a shepherd with almost 100 sheep! 

The last evening at the camp was spent merrily with a grand feast, more games, garba and another beautiful night sky! The snoring of fellow campers, the howling of the dogs and the constant rustling of leaves made the night musical...ultimately sleep came and Ayan and I had the best nights in the whole trip:) 

Our last leg of the trek was a final descent to Raithal. Once we reached the last section of the forest, Sanchana invited us to collect things from the forest and co-create a mood board about our experience of the trek! Ayan ran off immediately and gathered stones, leaves, sticks...and so did I. We spent the next few moments enjoying making our mood board. After all were done, we went around and listened with heart everyone's experiences - the children shared most poetically and the adults chipped in with how the trek really nourished their souls! 

In some time we were back where we started - at Raithal. For me reaching there was a triumph - of will over doubt, of focus over distraction, of beauty over despair, of love over guilt. Seeing Ayan fully trust the experience and immerse in it made me proud - he carried his own backpack throughout, was ahead of the group most times and thoroughly gelled with the whole group - young and old:) 

We closed very beautifully with an appreciation circle where we gifted each other magnets and pins sharing what we loved about the person. It was a beautifully facilitated experience:) I really enjoyed my conversations with Kavitha and Chinmay (thanks Kavitha for your constant hugs!), with Jeet and Kawal, with Rekha and Sanjay and with my fellow Gujju Digant Bhai. The kids were a riot of their own and I just so enjoyed all the chats with them. The entire IH team was amazing - they love what they do and they make you fall in love with it too:) Deep gratitude to them for feeding us, for nudging us, for playing with us, for singing with us and for witnessing one of the most beautiful moments of our lives!  

Parth, my Mom, my sisters, friends were such a solid support - they never doubted we could do it and helped us with all our planning and prep every step of the way:) 

This trek taught me a lot about how to create a life nurturing environment to support people through a journey that needs the ups and downs for it to have meaning - to help people get in touch with their own inner strength and will - to help them see the beauty that can make all the ache, fear and doubt melt away! 

With some more readiness especially physically - we will be back!