"What makes you comfortable at...... "

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I was seated at one of the lunches at a facilitator exchange workshop recently. I looked around the table and was wondering what interesting question I could ask that could give me a glimpse into people's authentic selves! And then popped the question... what makes you comfortable ... We were just talking about travelling so I customised the question as "what makes you comfortable at a new place you travel to....? 

This opened the door to amazing and diverse sharing - knowing where to go, having wifi access immediately, a smile, meeting friendly people, a comfortable space to stay, being familiar with the surroundings...each and every person on that table brought a new perspective to the table that was so uniquely them. 

I just started imagining what awareness and connection can happen if we ask questions starting with these simple words...

* what makes you comfortable at a party?

* what makes you comfortable at an internal meeting?

* what makes you comfortable at an external conference/ training/ workshop? 

* what makes you comfortable at a dinner with friends?

* what makes you comfortable at a family group call?

* what makes you comfortable at an interview?

* what makes you comfortable at a performance conversation? 

Even with people we think we know, we often are unaware of these preferences - simple ways we can help people come into a state of ease. Just being curious about these can create the bridge we need to a meaningful and beautiful conversation. 

So go ahead try using these conversation starters at your next meet up! 

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