The Politics and Insecurity of Hair

Note: I was going so crazy recently about wanting a decent hair cut once and for all, that I thought penning down my mumbling mind may give it some rest!

When does one really become conscious of one's hair? How the look and feel of hair affect our lives and how do our lives in term affect our hair?

When I was in school, I had to sit out for the ritualistic oil massage, brading into a plat, making two pigtales or a ponytail for school. I did not much of a say in the inputs into my hair nor the output of how my hair would finally look like. Ironically, that was the time I think my hair in terms of quality was at its best.

At some point, peer pressure and the mirror started taking over which never really go away. I think, hmmm, how does my hair affect how I look? How I am perceived? Does it make me look older? Does it make me look well-kept? Does it match with the clothes I am wearing? Does it match with my face?....The constant need to whisk out my brush. Oh if there is one emergency item in my bag always, its a backup brush! And then comes that phase when I was determined to grow them. As if it was some competitive feat. Every other month I would proudly see how close my hair is to my waist!

With time, one more consideration pops in, manageability! Wash and go! How much time it takes to oil, clean, comb...Practicalities set in and I start thinking what type of cut makes for easiest maintenance.

Then comes all those shampoos to choose from. The ads look compelling, this one looks as if it just might work. Several trials later, I am as confused as ever.

I have never been satisfied with my hair. Its texture, its length, its shapeless nature, the way it does not cover my large ears, its annoyingly fast speed of growth (which means they soon go out of shape). Even till this day. Grass is greener on someone else's head, right? So I look longingly at the women who have nice curly hair that seemingly do not need any combing! Just get up and go.....(and then I find that those same women long for straight hair like mine.)

Now I have the shortest cut so far. Am I satisfied? In the hair and now, so far so good.