It has been over a month since the lockdown began. In my various identities/ roles I have coped with COVID in different ways. As a parent, it was somewhat easier to do what was needed to maintain rhythm and a life nurturing environment at home and continue supporting Aarambh - my son's learning space. As a wife/ daughter/ sister/ friend, it was a bit harder and I jostled between being superbly grateful and connected to being disconnected sometimes. As a facilitator, it was the hardest - for two weeks I was in a state of freeze - my assignments for the coming months cancelled with no clear view of work coming in - in a way I was relieved to be able to focus on home and family in this time. I stayed away (and still do) from being overwhelmed from constant supply of corona updates. I was not ready to explore - what next?
What jolted me out of this state was my dear friend's Vibha's circle on "corona, gratitude and resilience" - she created a beautiful space where I finally felt comfortable to "meet" my jumbled up emotions and got some grounding and perspective. It ignited a fire in my belly and called me to start exploring "how do I really want to show up as a facilitator in these times?" I went back to my purpose - holding spaces for conversations that matter. I realised that my purpose is as or even more important now - just the "form" needs evolution.
The answer to that question was the "check in circle"- a space for individuals to reconnect with self and discover practices to nourish their body/ mind/ spirit/ emotions to stay anchored during these times. With the support and guidance of my dear friends Sanjeev Roy and Tulika Mehra @Bullzi, we co-hosted 7 circles with over a hundred participants in the past few weeks.
What made me feel the need to do this was the reality that we have gone from "doing" offline to "doing" online - without pressing the PAUSE button. So many people including me are experiencing a range of emotions in a matter of hours with the same or increased pressure to deliver work results, take up more active roles at home, live in the fear of contracting the virus for themselves and near ones, having lost the freedom of mobility and access to outdoors without any real clarity about how all this will really pan out in the future. People are at various stages of the grief cycle without having the awareness and clarity of what they need to move forward.
As Barbara Mckay says in her post about uncovering opportunities as facilitators, "So what is the opportunity in these cycles? How do they reflect on what goes on in organizations and teams? They are symptomatic of the stages of grief. They are symptomatic of the stages of a group going through massive amounts of change. And in the change cycle, there is an opportunity for the facilitator to encourage the group to not stay in “hiding” too long. Our job is to uncover what the people are hiding from and to shorten the amount of time they spend in hiding. Our job is to expose all of the range of emotions, reactions and behaviors and help the group to find what is most helpful."
The experience of hosting the circles has been phenomenal.
Some of the reflections people shared,
I think it was great program. Very well delivered. Your idea of circle made it more realistic while we could imagine sitting next to each other like a real meeting room. Also, started spending quality time with family while doing work from home otherwise we were sitting at home but mind was not at home most of the time as day was starting early, closing late.
My expectation from such a program in a remote environment was average, but I can easily say that the program surpassed my expectations from a remote sharing perspective. Quite useful when we can’t have physical sessions.
Session was very informative. It created positivity, self-awareness, re-visiting lost identity and areas, spending time with family and be 100% available for each work (office or home).
The efforts to make the virtual meeting feel real was great. With the bell sound and chat rooms. The personal sharing by everyone and Manali in the end about the ways they follow to keep themselves engaged helped. I picked up a couple of these and I am trying to work on it.
I was very apprehensive about sharing in a large group since I haven't done it for a while. But the session was light, there wasn't any pressure and that itself was a big relief. Hearing from others on how they are tackling the situation gave me some confidence. I really liked the breakout sessions. Also some of the techniques discussed in the session were really helpful. Though I faced some technical problems, overall everything was fine. The session also exposed some of the things which I felt I should address on a deeper level, which now I'm trying to do but don't have access to much provisions.
The way you had planned the session didn't make it feel like a 3-4 hours stretch but an evening spent together. We did different things, had breaks, moved around and heard from each other.
It has been quite a learning curve to hold space online with meaning and joy - I am so blessed to have learned how to bring in the "whole person" from my mentors and teachers in the Genuine Contact community:)
With every circle we healed and evolved. It reminded us also of what really mattered. We continue to get great feedback on how to make it better. We stay inspired to nourish our own body/ mind/ spirit/ emotions through some simple practices (one of mine is a 24-hour phone fast on Sundays!).
This morning I had a lovely video call with my nieces and my sister. After general chit chat, one of my nieces asked all of us "what do you miss? what are you happy about?" Two simple questions and 10 min of sharing - connected us so much more than all the general chat before that.
I wish we all become mindful that we are living and working with human beings - who are not just their mind but their body, emotions and spirit. All of them shows up as the employee, the spouse, the child, the parent, the friend, the neighbour, the concerned citizen....Please create spaces to check in with each other before you jump into conversations about what needs to get done whether it is buying groceries or writing that donor report - not just in these times but at ALL times.
To end this post, here is a lovely resource with a list of 20 questions to ask instead of "how are you doing"?
Notes of gratitude - I am able to show up and hold space for others because of so many others who hold space for every day!
My parents - they have been sending us a wholesome home cooked hot lunch every day since the last two months and who make sure we are stocked with supplies that we need - thank you Mom and Dad for your rock solid love,
My Dad who pushed us to save first and spend later - in these times this has given us mental peace and ability to support others who are doing such important relief work
My darling Ayan - I cannot imagine how a 8 year old in today's time can be so purposeful, so focused, so supportive and always reminding of what is important especially when he reminds me "Mom, be fully present"!
Parth - who knows what I need even before I need it - whether how he starts chopping the veggies or starts the cleaning process or starts boiling milk or checks in one me with a shoulder rub just when I need it....
My sisters - who check in on each other every day - who laugh and cry together - who remember old happy memories of a time that was an era in itself
My dear dear friends (school friends, college friends, peers, fellow Aarambh parents....) who share fun, inspiration, information...who have the amazing ability to laugh and make light of the most difficult of things.... who share their own ups and downs with me so make me feel its ok to be vulnerable, to be low, to just want to BE!
What jolted me out of this state was my dear friend's Vibha's circle on "corona, gratitude and resilience" - she created a beautiful space where I finally felt comfortable to "meet" my jumbled up emotions and got some grounding and perspective. It ignited a fire in my belly and called me to start exploring "how do I really want to show up as a facilitator in these times?" I went back to my purpose - holding spaces for conversations that matter. I realised that my purpose is as or even more important now - just the "form" needs evolution.
The answer to that question was the "check in circle"- a space for individuals to reconnect with self and discover practices to nourish their body/ mind/ spirit/ emotions to stay anchored during these times. With the support and guidance of my dear friends Sanjeev Roy and Tulika Mehra @Bullzi, we co-hosted 7 circles with over a hundred participants in the past few weeks.
What made me feel the need to do this was the reality that we have gone from "doing" offline to "doing" online - without pressing the PAUSE button. So many people including me are experiencing a range of emotions in a matter of hours with the same or increased pressure to deliver work results, take up more active roles at home, live in the fear of contracting the virus for themselves and near ones, having lost the freedom of mobility and access to outdoors without any real clarity about how all this will really pan out in the future. People are at various stages of the grief cycle without having the awareness and clarity of what they need to move forward.
(grief cycle - source, Genuine ContactTM Program)
The experience of hosting the circles has been phenomenal.
- People firstly were amazed that it was possible to meet this way online - where you could see each other, connect in small groups, engage with the facilitator/ other participants, move around, have silent moments to gather your own thoughts, draw on paper....
- People became aware of their own surroundings - rooms they had been sitting in since past 2 weeks and not seen the family pictures on the wall or smelled an almond for the first time or heard the sound of the birds just outside.
- The most moving part was when the participants expressed gratitude to a family member in the middle of the session - the response was one of shock mostly - and that made folks realise how little we take notice of the kindness and support we receive every day from those around us.
- We have been amazed to see the wide range of practices people are already doing to nourish their own body/ mind/ spirit/ emotions. There is so much wisdom in the group and it just needs a space to emerge.
Some of the reflections people shared,
I think it was great program. Very well delivered. Your idea of circle made it more realistic while we could imagine sitting next to each other like a real meeting room. Also, started spending quality time with family while doing work from home otherwise we were sitting at home but mind was not at home most of the time as day was starting early, closing late.
My expectation from such a program in a remote environment was average, but I can easily say that the program surpassed my expectations from a remote sharing perspective. Quite useful when we can’t have physical sessions.
Session was very informative. It created positivity, self-awareness, re-visiting lost identity and areas, spending time with family and be 100% available for each work (office or home).
The efforts to make the virtual meeting feel real was great. With the bell sound and chat rooms. The personal sharing by everyone and Manali in the end about the ways they follow to keep themselves engaged helped. I picked up a couple of these and I am trying to work on it.
I was very apprehensive about sharing in a large group since I haven't done it for a while. But the session was light, there wasn't any pressure and that itself was a big relief. Hearing from others on how they are tackling the situation gave me some confidence. I really liked the breakout sessions. Also some of the techniques discussed in the session were really helpful. Though I faced some technical problems, overall everything was fine. The session also exposed some of the things which I felt I should address on a deeper level, which now I'm trying to do but don't have access to much provisions.
The way you had planned the session didn't make it feel like a 3-4 hours stretch but an evening spent together. We did different things, had breaks, moved around and heard from each other.
It has been quite a learning curve to hold space online with meaning and joy - I am so blessed to have learned how to bring in the "whole person" from my mentors and teachers in the Genuine Contact community:)
With every circle we healed and evolved. It reminded us also of what really mattered. We continue to get great feedback on how to make it better. We stay inspired to nourish our own body/ mind/ spirit/ emotions through some simple practices (one of mine is a 24-hour phone fast on Sundays!).
This morning I had a lovely video call with my nieces and my sister. After general chit chat, one of my nieces asked all of us "what do you miss? what are you happy about?" Two simple questions and 10 min of sharing - connected us so much more than all the general chat before that.
I wish we all become mindful that we are living and working with human beings - who are not just their mind but their body, emotions and spirit. All of them shows up as the employee, the spouse, the child, the parent, the friend, the neighbour, the concerned citizen....Please create spaces to check in with each other before you jump into conversations about what needs to get done whether it is buying groceries or writing that donor report - not just in these times but at ALL times.
To end this post, here is a lovely resource with a list of 20 questions to ask instead of "how are you doing"?
Notes of gratitude - I am able to show up and hold space for others because of so many others who hold space for every day!
My parents - they have been sending us a wholesome home cooked hot lunch every day since the last two months and who make sure we are stocked with supplies that we need - thank you Mom and Dad for your rock solid love,
My Dad who pushed us to save first and spend later - in these times this has given us mental peace and ability to support others who are doing such important relief work
My darling Ayan - I cannot imagine how a 8 year old in today's time can be so purposeful, so focused, so supportive and always reminding of what is important especially when he reminds me "Mom, be fully present"!
Parth - who knows what I need even before I need it - whether how he starts chopping the veggies or starts the cleaning process or starts boiling milk or checks in one me with a shoulder rub just when I need it....
My sisters - who check in on each other every day - who laugh and cry together - who remember old happy memories of a time that was an era in itself
My dear dear friends (school friends, college friends, peers, fellow Aarambh parents....) who share fun, inspiration, information...who have the amazing ability to laugh and make light of the most difficult of things.... who share their own ups and downs with me so make me feel its ok to be vulnerable, to be low, to just want to BE!
Our lovely spacious home with a beautiful balcony that makes me feel connected to birds/ trees/ the sky/ the wind/ the falling leaves/ other humans:)
The four wonderful learning communities of facilitators that I am part of across the globe - FNF - International Academy for Leadership (IAF), the International Association of Facilitators - India (IAF-India), the Genuine Contact Community, Bullzi and our very own Facilitators Learning Spiral - all these groups nourish me every day with their energy, wisdom and inspiration to navigate these times with purpose.
