Human "beings" need the space to just BE

As January would approach every year, so would my anxiety - a year gone by already, it was just January - and a new year starting...all around I see people sharing year end notes on Facebook, making resolutions, having clarity about what their goals are for the next year!

Three years ago I took this anxiety as an opportunity for creating a space for my own reflection - by offering such a space to others. Encouraged by my family and friends, the first Check in Check out circle took place in our energising home in December 2016! We sat together in a circle, quietly...started our reflection looking at lovely handmade mandalas made by my son.......recollected moments of highs and lows, drew creatively our own resumes, let go and crafted intentions for the year ahead.

The second CICO circle happened in the end of 2018...some of the participants of the first circle also showed up in the second one...one of them came with her mother (for her it was the first time she heard her mother express herself in this way!).....building on the experience of the first one, we together worked through step by step - we shared about an object that stood out for us as a memory of 2018 - I remember people showing yoga mats, a crayon box, a diary, an empty bag (that signified "minimalism")....we crafted our storyline for the year - mapping out key milestones of highs and lows - in our family, with our friends, in our work, in how we nurtured ourselves, how we learnt new things, how we explored the unknown.... we wrote a thank you letter to self (I have mine up on my wall even now!). We put key areas of our lives where we want to pay attention to - and made concrete intentions for each - we captured how we want to experience 2019 in 3-4 key words of feelings....I had fascinating conversations with all the participants a few months later in one on one coffee dates:) on how life had unfolded for them. 

Two of the participants of the 2018 circle kept asking when I would do the circle again....and the 2019 year end circle was soon announced. ...As I was designing this third edition, it was amazing how many of my own life's experiences and learnings built on each other and I could see many more connections in all areas of my life (my work at my son's learning space, my work with paid clients, my pro bono work, the learning communities I was part of, my relationships.....). The program itself evolved with my own evolution and for this I hold deep gratitude to my mentors, my peers, my husband, my sisters, my friends, my co-parents - all who have patiently and courageously navigated with me. The whole family was involved in setting up the space - cleaning, setting up the circle, decorating the welcome board, setting up the refreshments table - I am always amazed at Parth and Ayan's ability to think from the guest's perspective and prepare the space accordingly - placing slippers outside the bathroom, setting up the extension board in case anyone would like to charge their phones! Calming music was playing since morning to add more energy to the space. 

2020 is a year of drawing deeper inspiration from all around me - so I chose to begin with a relevant song on my guitar! This year I want to integrate more of my own singing and playing in my spaces and this was a very encouraging start:) We began the session by choosing three cards (turned down) and reflected on what the three cards represented for our past, present and future! (I highly recommend spending a few moments regularly to choose a card for yourself at https://www.dalarinternational.com/developing-leadership-cards/). 

We spent a few moments in silence in a guided reflection looking back at our past year, we crafted our storylines looking at our physical diaries, our Google calendars. We chose two lenses to look back at our story - to what extent we could see any of these four pillars of meaning - belonging, storytelling, purpose, transcendence - in our story? (source - Emily Esfahani Smith's amazing work on what leads to meaning in people's lives TED Talk). The second lens we chose to look at our story was how we nurtured our whole being - our body/ mind/ spirit/ emotions? For both these lenses, we shared what we have done to strengthen this already and what specific intention we have for 2020 in the aspects we want to strengthen. 

Then connecting all the dots - the three cards, the storyline, the two lens - everyone listed key areas of attention and actions of intentions for 2020.....As I checked in with all on how complete they felt - everyone was at various levels - which is ok....this is a deep intensive exercise and cannot be rushed and forced. Everyone needs a unique pace for this - some folks needed more time to complete their chain of thoughts - some needed time to look through the whole session work and see what other connections emerged - some had clarity of the state they wanted to be in and still needed to figure out what the next step would be to get started - some wanted to check in with themselves for authenticity, is this really me....what I need? what I want? - some were in a search of a deeper purpose for the next phase of their lives.....

The last round in the session was expressing appreciation to self looking in a mirror! This was awkward obviously especially to do so out loud....everyone was a great sport and shared thanks to self in their own unique ways. 

A few observations people shared were - it was easier in a space like this to open up and share our vulnerabilities, our fears, it was easier to come up with specific actions in a group, in just four hours so much self work and sharing happened! It was also amazing to hear the variety of ways in which people nurture their being and consciously bring meaning to their daily lives. 

The highlight for the session was a family who participated, husband and wife were deeply engaged in the process and the 7.5 year old daughter gently floating in and out adding her own energy to the space. She ended the circle singing a wonderful song - "Alone" - magically reinforcing the fact that we can and should reach out more to those around us to support us in taking action on our intentions! 

We as a group will meet again mid year and then in December. We will stay connected sharing our 2020 journey forward and hopefully have "accountability" buddies for various aspects where we need nudges to act (thank you Swati for this term and for making this a regular practice to live more meaningfully!). 

At the end I felt abundance - it is so sacred to hold space for genuine contact with self, others and the universe. Deep gratitude to Vibha and https://genuinecontact.net/ for helping me become a more "whole" facilitator and being; to Sanjeev (http://www.bullzi-inc.com/) for always inspiring me with his work in "finding the best in us" and to my dear witness in life - Parth who makes me believe I can in every moment choose what I want to be and do!