Remember a time when we started something new - a new role or a new job….it is a change in our life… with any change there are mixed feelings of excitement and curiosity of new beginnings and also the sadness of what you are leaving behind, the fear, self doubt, anxiety about what is to come.
Different people respond differently - some thrive when thrown into the unknown and embrace challenges head on while some may cringe at the thought of shifting from known to the unknown and may thoroughly miss what was left behind - even though mentally they believe they want to make the change.
Some unspoken questions one may experience….
Who are these people, really?
What is this organisation really like - are they really as good as they sound or as my friends say? How do things really happen here?
Why am I really here? What sense does this experience make in my life story?
Where am I in this group? How do I fit? How do I belong? How will I relate to all these different people? Do I have the energy to start afresh and make new connections? How much of myself can I really reveal here? What is accepted? What is frowned upon?
I am away from my home for the first time, how will I manage?
I just got out of college --- what do I really know?
I was comfortable in my old job… Did I really need to quit and go back to school? What was I thinking?
I signed up for this… can I really do this? What if I can’t? What if I hate it here after a few days/ weeks/ months? What will my parents say? What will my friends say?
People are so different. Some speak to think, some think to speak. Some are quiet reflectors, some energetic action seekers. Some need to know the why before starting anything, some want to just jump in and see what happens. Some like being told on their face how others feel or how they did right there and then, while some would like this to happen privately afterwards. Some are masters of words, some masters of connection. Some love to read, some love to debate……A space needs time for these differences to be noticed, acknowledged and accepted as unique qualities that affect how a person chooses to show up and engage in a space.
As the creators/ holders of a new space which is embracing new people, we hold an important yet much needed responsibility - how might we
Acknowledge that these mixed feelings are real for many… they maybe conflicting… they may not make sense to us… but they are there.. They are alive for those who are joining…they represent their different identities, their past stories…
Provide a space where people can connect with their own feelings and make sense of them, where they can share and listen to others do the same - where they can safely show up more fully and be seen and heard for who they are, where they can respectfully make requests of each other that can help make the collective experience meaningful for everyone…
Invite their leadership by asking questions that help people make sense of their choices, connect with their inner motivations and give a voice to their “why”
Be prepared to go slow - to help people really “arrive” with their whole being into our space before we excitedly tell them about what to expect….
Accept that even though that information may be shared - people listen, absorb, understand, interpret in different ways and at different paces….and we may need to really CONNECT with them before we do anything else
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As a team, we go from one batch to next... often carrying so much with us.... how might we make space for us to process these feelings of the past and to surface our own feelings about the new journey - letting go of all that did not go well last time, be curious about what new will emerge, understand our own energy to initiate and sustain connections….mindfully balance what we need to do (task) and our relationships (people).... so can enter the space with those joining new with refreshed energy....
In a line, how might we really humanise the experience of starting together?
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