Meeting culture....What's that now?

Silence on asking a question can mean many things - one that the question was not clear and the less obvious one is that question was surprising. When asked to define what they understood by the term "meeting culture" - 15 people across sectors, timezones and ages who had gathered to unpack this topic - fell silent...until..one of them said... "let me give it a shot - it is a combination of behaviours, practices, values around meetings in a group".. others chimed in.. "its the ethos of the group...the choice of tone and language".... after 90 minutes of a spirited dialogue it was realised that while meetings are such a pervasive part of our groups, we very seldom pause and reflect on the "meeting culture" that we are ending up with or that we want to nourish. 

This article that provides an interesting meeting culture framework says "Meetings bring culture to life, amplifying both the positives and negatives within an organization......Meetings provide a realistic picture of how your team members relate to each other. They shed light on how your organization operates when it comes to power, decision-making, communication, and collaboration....." 

Our current meeting culture 

I began the peer circle inviting people to bring an object that to them represents the meeting culture in their group. A variety of objects came that gave a peak into both the life nurturing and life depleting experiences in meetings.  

Life nurturing

White paper (openness to learning/ acceptance; safe space authentic connections)

Book/ readings (socratic - equal set up; planned/ structured/ prep meeting)

Wedding ring (collaborative meetings)

Life depleting

Heart painting/ book Fearless freedom (opposite of this in culture)

Stress ball (ball rolling)

Bottle (bottled up emotions)

Zip (struggle to give critical feedback)

Airplane (rushed)

Jumbled up wires (go everywhere)

Unicorn (unrealistic)

Pen (controlling/ dangerous place)

You can see which list was longer! We ran a few polls to further understand's experiences in meetings. On a poll about effectiveness (achieving goal/ purpose of meeting); efficiency (in the right time); engagement (involvement in meetings), the group’s responses were mixed. While engagement was seen on a higher side across, effectiveness and efficiency received more spread out ratings from 1-5.

On a poll on which aspect of the person was engaged in meetings, the obvious result was the mind. When one person shared that "my heart races, my fingers clench, my hands sweat"...it struck me how quickly our body reacts to our external experiences. One person shared that when we talk about vision/ passion/ interests, the spirit is tapped.

On asked whether we can engage the whole person consistently across all meetings, one person shared that they are all engaged in some way whether we like it or not...If one has to engage them with intention - the group felt that it may not be possible or desired in EVERY meeting, however, engaging the whole person consistently across different types of meetings in the organisation builds trust.

People also shared that we tend to be more deliberate about meetings we do with external stakeholders and that much more less for meetings we conduct internally - as if we are on some sort of auto pilot.

What influences meeting culture?

People strongly felt that the overall organisation culture has a big influence on meeting cultures. One of the participants shared their group's experience - "The value of inclusion is practiced by making space/ giving time for people to share especially those who may need some more time to articulate and share. Also the leader shares after everyone has shared."

Past experiences, participants and the facilitator himself/ herself also have big influences on the meeting culture of a group. I have noticed this many times whether new people in an organisation continue to operate on assumptions about meeting etiquette from their previous work spaces - and since there is no "deliberate conversation" around meeting cultures - the behaviours are noticed but not explored or re-oriented in light of what is the "expected" etiquette in the current work space. (for e.g. coming from less engaging meeting cultures - people may experience "freedom shock" when they come to a space where there is higher engagement and inclusion.)

What are parameters of a "healthy meeting culture"?

• Work on the task

• Good track of time/ keeping to agenda 

• Everyone is heard 

• Collaboration 

• Helping everyone follow along

• Reactions to meetings - people look forward to participate in the meeting and regret it if they miss the meeting/ Fear of Missing Out/ people come to meetings even if they are optional! 

• How much of the agenda gets driven by the group 

• Keeping everyone in the loop especially for those who missed it, so one doesn't repeat everything in the follow-up meetings.

• If meeting with external persons, then at the end deliver some souvenir, publications or any other give away so he will remember on return too.

• People speak passionately and openly take responsibility for specific actions

• Before the meeting - People look forward to it. During the meeting - Don't know how time flies . After the meeting - People feel good about it.

What are the "visible" and "invisible" supportive elements of a great meeting culture?

VISIBLE SUPPORTIVE ELEMENTS Seating Food (what is life nurturing/ sustainable?)  What's on the walls/ environment? People engaging - Cameras/ mic most of the time/ raise their hands before speaking/ chatting/ emojis, gif etc. used? How much talk time is each person getting? equal time spent by each participant? What is the time between the meeting invite and actual meeting?  Not realizing how time has flown Laughter/ people's faces go through a range of emotions? How much time do people actually put in planning? Does the invite have a clear agenda Knowing when we'll get a break/ short breaks Time management/ respect for time Documentation (white board, ppt)/ Is anyone taking notes? Energy levels? Who is present? Who is absent? What if an important member is missing? Are tasks/ leads identified? How do people follow up on actions? Debrief/ Recording/MoM/Transfer of knowledge for future?

INVISIBLE SUPPORTIVE ELEMENTS How are people feeling?  How much responsibility/ autonomy do people have?  People's past experience Spaces to connect? How much truth is being told?  What is the say/do ratio?  Do things decided in meetings get done? Are people looking forward to meetings? Do the meetings bring people together?  Do people grow? Do people feel "good" after the meeting? Confidentiality Inclusivity Participatory Flexibility Acknowledgement Conflict management Decisions taken where possible without dragging it for too long Ideology/ Product advertisement Org culture  Weather (mood) Personality of the facilitator  Interpersonal relationships or the lack thereof

What did this dialogue stir in you?

People felt that this was a meaning making exercise that helped them unpack their experiences across groups they were a part of. It helped them reflect on how they showed up in meetings and what they brought in. It made them conscious about looking at meetings from a "culture" lens and how the organisation culture impacts this. Someone wanted to explore more about the challenges in creating and sustaining desirable meeting cultures and explore the intergenerational impact on meeting cultures. Someone wanted to explore how to support groups to strengthen capacity in facilitating meetings.

What did this dialogue stirred in me?

It was a meaning making experience for me as well - thinking through the topic - the questions I wanted to ask - listening to people's lived experiences of meeting cultures across ages/ geographies/ sectors - it is such a universally relevant node that offers a huge opportunity for groups to more consciously live their purpose and values INTERNALLY - it was a "treat" for my mind, heart and spirit!

It made me excited to bring more attention to this lesser explored topic and nudge groups to hold space for dialogue. Coming soon - "conversation guide on meeting culture"

I will end this post with this lovely quote from Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters- “The way we gather matters. Gatherings consume our days and help determine the kind of world we live in, in both our intimate and public realms. Gathering - the conscious bringing together of people for a reason - shapes the way we think, feel and make sense of the world.”

If this post stirred something in you, do share your thoughts/ questions in the comments!